So little time, so much to do as Paris Hilton counts down the days to her incarceration
Reality is about to sink in for Paris Hilton: “Behind bars” isn’t as much fun as “going to bars.”
The hotel/real estate heiress seemed to float sublimely above the wreckage she left in her wake — how many of her party pals have ended up in rehab? — until a judge sentenced her to 45 days in jail for violating her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.
An online petition drive is asking California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to spare the rod (what, and risk spoiling the child!?). But unless he shows Hilton more mercy than he’s been showing death-row inmates, starting June 5 she’ll be locked up at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, in a cell that’s probably smaller than one of her walk-in closets.
As you may have noticed, Paris seems to have a problem keeping her personal, private things personal and private. So it’s no surprise that we recently came into possession of her day planner for the final weeks before her incarceration.
Take a look:
May 15 Ask granddad* to build a new jail in Lynwood, with a penthouse suite.
(*That would be Hilton Hotels co-chairman Barron Hilton.)
May 16 Try to cut deal with prosecutor; offer to testify against Nicole.
May 19 Have Nicky* design a new jail jumpsuit, preferably something with pink or rhinestones.
(*her sister)
May 20 Stockpile cigarettes to trade for lipgloss and hair gel.
May 23 Go to gym — bulk up for jail.
May 24 Aw, forget it.
May 25 Scout publishers and ghostwriter for tell-all book, “Heiress Under Lockdown.”
May 26 Appear at “Team Paris” fundraiser at the Playboy Club in Las Vegas.
May 27 “What do you mean In-N-Out Burger doesn’t deliver to jail?”
May 28 Premiere of “The Simple Life Goes to Camp.” As if!
May 29Call the Rev. Sharpton’s radio show, apologize for what I said on that YouTube video. I didn’t mean it. Really.
May 30 Call jail — add Rosie to visitors list. Scratch Cameron Diaz.
May 31 Which sunglasses to bring?
June 1 “What do you mean I can’t have a nail file in jail?”
June 2 Rent “Jailhouse Rock” and “Stir Crazy” for video party with Brit and Lindz.
June 3 Sunday brunch with Martha Stewart.
June 4 Take Tinkerbell to the kennel.
June 5 (Circled with a little frowny face.)
Reality is about to sink in for Paris Hilton: “Behind bars” isn’t as much fun as “going to bars.”
The hotel/real estate heiress seemed to float sublimely above the wreckage she left in her wake — how many of her party pals have ended up in rehab? — until a judge sentenced her to 45 days in jail for violating her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.
An online petition drive is asking California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to spare the rod (what, and risk spoiling the child!?). But unless he shows Hilton more mercy than he’s been showing death-row inmates, starting June 5 she’ll be locked up at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, in a cell that’s probably smaller than one of her walk-in closets.
As you may have noticed, Paris seems to have a problem keeping her personal, private things personal and private. So it’s no surprise that we recently came into possession of her day planner for the final weeks before her incarceration.
Take a look:
May 15 Ask granddad* to build a new jail in Lynwood, with a penthouse suite.
(*That would be Hilton Hotels co-chairman Barron Hilton.)
May 16 Try to cut deal with prosecutor; offer to testify against Nicole.
May 19 Have Nicky* design a new jail jumpsuit, preferably something with pink or rhinestones.
(*her sister)
May 20 Stockpile cigarettes to trade for lipgloss and hair gel.
May 23 Go to gym — bulk up for jail.
May 24 Aw, forget it.
May 25 Scout publishers and ghostwriter for tell-all book, “Heiress Under Lockdown.”
May 26 Appear at “Team Paris” fundraiser at the Playboy Club in Las Vegas.
May 27 “What do you mean In-N-Out Burger doesn’t deliver to jail?”
May 28 Premiere of “The Simple Life Goes to Camp.” As if!
May 29Call the Rev. Sharpton’s radio show, apologize for what I said on that YouTube video. I didn’t mean it. Really.
May 30 Call jail — add Rosie to visitors list. Scratch Cameron Diaz.
May 31 Which sunglasses to bring?
June 1 “What do you mean I can’t have a nail file in jail?”
June 2 Rent “Jailhouse Rock” and “Stir Crazy” for video party with Brit and Lindz.
June 3 Sunday brunch with Martha Stewart.
June 4 Take Tinkerbell to the kennel.
June 5 (Circled with a little frowny face.)
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